Scraping Down

11/12/15 Notes to Myself:

As I posted last week, I was experiencing
a lot of frustration with this 
plein air painting. After bringing it home 
and walking away from it for awhile 
I decided to scrape it all down.

What you see here now is the result
of that experience. As I scraped off 
the more controlled application of
thick paint I saw new things emerge. 
Fear left as I could no longer
hold on to all that I had already 
applied. The new that was emerging
I wasn't sure of but it had a 
freshness to it. A spontaneous
quality. Maybe still disorganized
but somehow more resonant with me.

I could see how much of this mirrored 
in a metaphoric way my own life over the 
past few years. Scraping down and 
peeling away layers of my past. Seeing 
them for what they were and letting 
them go. Often, this has been 
painful and scary. 

Facing my creative process in an open
and vulnerable way isn't always easy.
Exposing that part of my journey to
myself often a challenge. But I see
this is how I move forward. Allowing 
for some "bleeding" of color" can
reveal new pathways that resonate on
a deeper level with me and improve
the quality of my voice as a painter
over time.

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