11/12/15 Notes to Myself: As I posted last week, I was experiencing a lot of frustration with this plein air painting. After bringing it home and walking away from it for awhile I decided to scrape it all down. What you see here now is the result of that experience. As I scraped off the more controlled application of thick paint I saw new things emerge. Fear left as I could no longer hold on to all that I had already applied. The new that was emerging I wasn't sure of but it had a freshness to it. A spontaneous quality. Maybe still disorganized but somehow more resonant with me. I could see how much of this mirrored in a metaphoric way my own life over the past few years. Scraping down and peeling away layers of my past. Seeing them for what they were and letting them go. Often, this has been painful and scary. Facing my creative process in an open and vulnerable way isn't always easy. Exposing that part of my journey to myself often a challenge. But I see this is how I move forward. Allowing for some "bleeding" of color" can reveal new pathways that resonate on a deeper level with me and improve the quality of my voice as a painter over time.