The “Mess” of Creating

11/5/15 Notes to Myself:

I read a blog post this week
that spoke to a "mess" being part
of progress. Music to my ears!
I needed to hear that as my
creative process has become
quite messy and unpredictable
in many ways.

Right now I am doing a lot
of experimenting with my painting.
Using new colors, new tools and
stepping out of my traditional
training. In the process
I am experiencing some frustration
and mess in working toward integrating
all the change. This was front
and center yesterday as I was 
plein air painting.

After 3 hours outdoors I just
couldn't get this to resonate.
I continued to add more paint
and try to pull something out of
it that I just was not seeing.
It has composition and color challenges.
To my eye quite a frustrating "mess".

Part of me says this isn't something
you want to share but it's part of
my reality as a painter. That's not
something I wish to hide. Not all of
my paintings are "successful". 
Creating is messy especially when 
experimenting. That's just the deal
and part of learning.  

I have this in my studio now. I'm not
giving up hope and will see what
can be resurrected from this massive
amount of paint (if anything). 

I'm banking on progress and
that may not look like anything I
have in mind. In fact it may not
have anything to do with painting.
Perhaps it's more about my acceptance of
the process of becoming a painter.

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