11/5/15 Notes to Myself: I read a blog post this week that spoke to a "mess" being part of progress. Music to my ears! I needed to hear that as my creative process has become quite messy and unpredictable in many ways. Right now I am doing a lot of experimenting with my painting. Using new colors, new tools and stepping out of my traditional training. In the process I am experiencing some frustration and mess in working toward integrating all the change. This was front and center yesterday as I was plein air painting. After 3 hours outdoors I just couldn't get this to resonate. I continued to add more paint and try to pull something out of it that I just was not seeing. It has composition and color challenges. To my eye quite a frustrating "mess". Part of me says this isn't something you want to share but it's part of my reality as a painter. That's not something I wish to hide. Not all of my paintings are "successful". Creating is messy especially when experimenting. That's just the deal and part of learning. I have this in my studio now. I'm not giving up hope and will see what can be resurrected from this massive amount of paint (if anything). I'm banking on progress and that may not look like anything I have in mind. In fact it may not have anything to do with painting. Perhaps it's more about my acceptance of the process of becoming a painter.