This morning I am experiencing feelings of loss. I suppose we all have those throughout life.What’s challenging for me is letting myself be aware and have the feelings. My tendency is to cover them up with busyness.
Lately I’m being challenged with my painting. The outcomes aren’t as my minds eye envisions them. I wonder if what I am going through inside isn’t coming out on the canvas. The pictures aren’t so pretty but perhaps they are meaningful guides in my process.
This brings me to the concept of “loss as a doorway”. I have choices in times like this. In the past “quitting” or “giving up” would be swirling around with force. I am having some of those thoughts and I am experiencing moments of “what am I doing?” and “why bother to continue?”. There is, however, a deep part of me that is considering the possibility that this is an opportunity and “doorway” to more.
I have learned that loss creates a space for something new and perseverance will guide my way toward that.
Today, I’m sitting in the feelings. I am going to choose to explore the “doorway” by persevering and trusting that all is well on my journey. I need nothing more than what I already have and I can let go of all outcomes…the door is open, all I need to do is walk through.